why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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