can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
