I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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