yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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