I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize