First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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