i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
