You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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