pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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