god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
