the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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