one two three fourrrrnication!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
