If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He felt like a one man threesome
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
