That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I supernannyed him into submission
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
