sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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