Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
