Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
is it fun? or sober?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
