Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
