In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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