I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Found your dick twin last night
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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