Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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