she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
