I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
