"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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