Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
