If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
