I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
