we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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