i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
