i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
