dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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