Quick, to the slutcave!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
