ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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