Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
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