We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
