The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
