what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I didn't notice because vodka
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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