If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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