The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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