Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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