summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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