On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
