I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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