watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
