he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize