I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
