Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
