how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
