dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
