i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
