dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
you inspire me to be a worse person
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
