Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
