we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
i out mim tonsoeep
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
