I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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