My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize