Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
NoShamevember. You game?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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