She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
sex in a hospital.. check
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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