His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
